MIND SPACE

  Growing up, many of us watched our fathers carry the weight of the entire world on their shoulders without ever uttering a single complaint. They were the ultimate providers, the unshakeable rocks of the family. If they were stressed, they worked harder. If they were hurting, they buried it deeper. Our parents, especially the men, never used to seek help. In our society, a man’s tears were treated like a myth, and his mental struggles were hidden away behind closed doors, masked by long hours at work or silence. For generations, African masculinity has been defined by endurance. We were taught that to be a man means to suffer in silence, to protect everyone else while leaving yourself entirely unprotected. But this cycle of silent suffering is breaking us. A lot of men today do not seek help for their mental health because of how society looks at them. We fear being labeled as “weak,” “soft,” or told  “ba musajja” (be a man) and deal with it. We wear a mask of strength to...

  The news arrived like a sudden storm, leaving us anchored in shock. A classmate, someone full of life, purpose, and infectious kindness, was suddenly gone. One day we are sharing goals, laughter, and school stories from the past; the next, we are left holding nothing but memories and the heavy “what-ifs” of the future. How do you explain grief? It is like the air around us. You cannot see it, you cannot touch it, but you can feel its crushing weight aching deep inside your chest. Losing someone is a pain that changes us forever. In our journey through life, classmates turn into siblings and we watch strangers become mentors. When that bond is broken, the silence left behind is deafening. To help us understand this invisible ache, we often look at the stages of grief. However, grief is rarely a straight line; it is an emotional path we must walk together. Stage 1: The Numbness of Shock and Denial In the immediate aftermath, your mind protects you by refusing to believe reali...

  Today is my birthday. To me, a birthday is a big deal; it feels like a Speaker of  Parliament election, minus the political drama. I am not sure if this “birthday obsession” is just a symptom of being a planned kid (lol), but I always look forward to it. Why? Because I get to share this day with my daughter while practicing some serious self-love. I beat the 1-in-365 odds to share a birthday with my own child. Honestly, only God could pull off a statistical miracle like that. But with this celebration comes another digit added to my 30s. Let’s be real: getting older can feel a little scary. The moment you hit a certain age, society expects you to transition from worrying about party themes to wrinkles and chronic illnesses. Just today, I heard a radio advert reminding adults to get screened for diabetes and cancer. My immediate reaction? “Oh Lord, what is this? My life is officially over.” Society loves to label age, and those labels open the door to anxiety and depres...

  Last week, our hearts were shattered by a horror we never thought we would see. Our world was shaken to the core when we learned of the innocent children stolen from us in a place that should have been their sanctuary. In the face of such senseless evil, we are left with so many questions but no answers. Why did this person do this? Why did it have to happen to these sweet, innocent little ones? I cannot even imagine the pain the parents are feeling right now. A big hole has been left in their hearts; no more will they hear that chicky laughter, those tiny noisy footsteps, and those warm hugs. I think about the teachers and the friends who were there, the deep wounds that will stay in their hearts and minds forever. A day that started out sunny and bright was suddenly turned dark. Those who were present saw things no one should ever have to see. We cannot turn back the hands of time, as much as we wish we could, but we must stand together. A child belongs to the whole communi...

 It took me a long time to learn how to love myself. For years, I was my own biggest critic. I always felt like I was not good enough, and those negative thoughts were deeply stuck in my mind. I wanted to be like everyone else, except myself. I lacked confidence and was a people-pleaser, constantly trying to avoid rejection. Here is a news bulletin: Not everyone is meant to like you. That is a truth I learned later on. I used to second-guess myself. I found it hard to accept compliments, yet I craved external validation. When you don’t love yourself, life feels heavy and "messed up." However, I have learned that self-love is something you grow slowly, like a garden. No one else can do it for you. It is a journey you take one step at a time. Let me repeat this: no one can—and no one will—love you on your behalf. Not your mother, father, partner, or even your dog. Self-love starts from the inside and spreads outward. In our society, girls are often told what is "wron...

  "Why doesn’t she just leave?" It is the question many ask, but few understand. She sits scared and alone, lost in thoughts of a million ways to escape, only to be reminded by a blow to the face that she has nowhere to go. Who can she tell that her tears cry her to sleep? Who can she tell that her home has become a war zone? In the beginning, he is smart, charming, and feels like a God-given love. He mirrors the "Prince Charming" of fairy tales. The thought of him ever laying a hand on her seems like a myth; monsters do that, and he is no monster. Sadly, many women never see the abuse coming. Even worse, many assume they can "fix" or "save" him. But the hard truth is: you cannot save what is already broken. In Uganda, 56% of women have experienced physical violence and 40% have faced verbal or emotional abuse, and those are only the reported cases. Domestic violence remains a leading cause of death among women worldwide. It is shocking t...

  I am a self-confessed multitasker. From the morning school run through the Kampala traffic, to staying late at the office, followed by ensuring homework is done and dinner is on the table, I try to do it all. But truthfully, it is catching up with me. Lately, I’ve found myself falling asleep in places I shouldn’t, from my office desk (please don’t tell my boss!) to Sunday service. Once, the pastor even caught me taking a quick snooze! Now, I hide in the back row just so I can get a quick nap in peace. As a professional therapist, I know this isn’t healthy. So many women are balancing careers and family at a high cost to their well-being. We grew up watching our mothers do a million things at once; to us, they were the ultimate superheroes. But we rarely saw the toll it took behind the scenes. In our pursuit of success, we often overwork ourselves just to prove that we can do everything a man can do, while still ensuring everything at home is running perfectly. But here is t...

In Uganda, over 700,000 young people enter the labor market every year, yet only about 90,000 secure formal employment. That leaves 610,000 people wondering exactly where they fit. I recently met a woman in this exact position. Despite being highly educated, she had been unemployed for sometime. After a long streak of bad luck in the workforce, her desperation was heartbreaking. "I’m ready for any manual task," she told me, "just to have an income." She had moved from building to building with the sole hope of hearing a "yes," but all she ever received was: "We will contact you." It made me reflect: At what cost? I have been that woman. I remember the exhaustion of sending out over 100 CVs, only to be met with rejection. And let’s not even get into the endless, repetitive frustration of drafting cover letters that no one seems to read. Even worse was the sting of being invited for interviews, only to realize the position was already fille...

  My teenage daughter is a talented athlete, yet she recently approached me with a surprising request: she wanted to quit her team. When I asked why, she claimed she needed to focus more on her studies. Knowing her as I do, I decided to look a little deeper. I attend most of her games, and I began to notice a pattern: she takes her losses incredibly hard. She doesn’t just dislike losing; she feels defeated by it. This made me wonder: Do we actually teach our children how to be "good losers"? Our world is so obsessed with winning that we often forget a winner is frequently just a loser who refused to quit. We have stigmatized the word "lose" to the point where our children view failure as a dead end rather than a stepping stone. We see this everywhere. On the news, reporters ask losing political candidates how they feel, as if the loss itself is a source of shame. When national exam results are released, we celebrate the top scorers, but what of the students w...

They say love comes when you least expect it, but in my 30s, I realized the real secret: Love arrives when you finally stop panicking and start being present. It shows up when you start loving yourself and truly knowing your value. Imagine running into the love of your life out of the blue. My husband and I came from opposite sides of the world, but we clicked instantly, like old friends from back in the day, even though we had never met. If I hadn’t been right there, mentally and spiritually "tuned in," I would have missed him completely. As ladies, we often exhaust ourselves trekking to every corner of the earth looking for that God-given partner. We "slay" for every wedding, every office party, and every church service. You’ve seen them, those sisters where you can just tell they are on a mission. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being intentional, as long as you aren’t hunting out of hunger. When you're hungry, you’ll eat anything, even the...

  Recently, I was sitting with my five-year-old daughter, practicing her reading. We opened a new book, and as she hesitated over some of the longer words, I could see the tension building up in her small shoulders. Finally, out of frustration, she looked at me and said, "I can't do it. The words are too hard." In that moment, I didn’t push. I didn’t tell her to "just try harder." Instead, I encouraged her to take her time. I told her she didn’t need to be perfect and that we could go at her own pace. This simple moment was a powerful reminder: parents are a child’s first and most important encouragers. When we support our children in the small things, like sounding out a difficult word, we aren’t just helping them read. We are building a foundation of possibility for the "big things" they will face later in life. Encouragement is so much more than just a pat on the back; it is the heartbeat of a child’s confidence. When we consistently show up w...

  I used to be someone who hid my struggles. I would be going through something incredibly difficult, feeling like I was "dying in my own movie," trapped within my silent narrative. I never shared because I cared deeply about what people thought of me, and honestly, I didn't want my private business out on "the streets." I’ve since learned the importance of sharing my lows with a trusted individual, of not carrying my burdens entirely alone. The relief that comes from not going through life in complete isolation is profound. Many of us are currently navigating very difficult times and suffering in isolation for a variety of reasons. Perhaps we don’t want to "disturb" others with our problems, fear sounding like we are complaining, or feel intense pressure to maintain a "strong face" and avoid showing vulnerability. Society has made it easier to share successes and, in turn, has made it difficult to open up about struggles. What many fail ...

  A few days ago, we stepped into a time machine. The destination year was 1960, the pre-digital era. 6:00 PM was the arrival time, and we didn't know how long this offline journey would last. Who knew that without TikTok, a minute in Uganda actually lasts sixty seconds? It was a terrifying discovery. For those of us who rely on the internet daily (and not just for dance videos), we had to instantly face the reality of zero accessibility. There was a sudden, scramble as people began suggesting all sorts of obscure "offline" communication apps. But let’s be honest: who were you even going to chat with? Unless your neighbor was a tech-wizard and standing right outside your gate, it just didn't work out. An internet shutdown feels like a natural disaster for productivity, a sudden stop for the many who run businesses online. In our corner of the world, during an election period, this particular kind of digital silence is just the event, we’ve come to expect. Thankful...

  We’ve all felt it lately, that restless, distracted feeling where your mind keeps drifting back to the news. Let’s call it "Election Brain." It’s a normal reaction to a big week, but we don't have to let it take over. With Uganda's general elections just days away, the national conversation is centered on the big event. This shared focus is noticeable, and managing the weight of it all can be exhausting. I want to be clear: I’m not a political person. This isn’t about who you should vote for or which party is better. This post is purely about our collective mental well-being during what is always a high-stakes moment for our nation. We all know the drill. Elections sometimes feel less like a democratic process and more like waiting for a weather forecast you watch with clenched teeth, hoping for sunshine but preparing for a storm. The current atmosphere is intense, made worse by "what if" concerns like potential internet shutdowns. Even the news netw...