The High Cost of Doing It All: Why the "Superwoman" Title is a Trap.

 

I am a self-confessed multitasker. From the morning school run through the Kampala traffic, to staying late at the office, followed by ensuring homework is done and dinner is on the table, I try to do it all.

But truthfully, it is catching up with me. Lately, I’ve found myself falling asleep in places I shouldn’t, from my office desk (please don’t tell my boss!) to Sunday service. Once, the pastor even caught me taking a quick snooze! Now, I hide in the back row just so I can get a quick nap in peace.

As a professional therapist, I know this isn’t healthy. So many women are balancing careers and family at a high cost to their well-being. We grew up watching our mothers do a million things at once; to us, they were the ultimate superheroes. But we rarely saw the toll it took behind the scenes.

In our pursuit of success, we often overwork ourselves just to prove that we can do everything a man can do, while still ensuring everything at home is running perfectly. But here is the hard truth about life: everything cannot always be at 100%.

There will always be something left "empty", whether it’s your home, your work, or most commonly, yourself. It is impossible for everything to be perfectly balanced at once. Instead of trying to balance the world, remember that it is you who has to be balanced.

Being "everything to everyone" is more than exhausting; it’s a mental health crisis. Research shows that women are significantly more likely to be diagnosed with mental health disorders, often at three times the rate of men. This shouldn't surprise us; we carry too much.

While we wear multitasking as a badge of honor, science tells a different story. Constant task-switching increases our stress hormones, leading to chronic anxiety and burnout. Trying to cook, clean, and respond to work emails simultaneously doesn't make you "strong", it wears you down. It lowers your focus and reduces productivity because your mind is scattered.

Your mind is not made of steel. It is time to see yourself as a priority. Once you realize you cannot please everyone and you cannot do everything, peace of mind will finally kick in. Here is how we start:

Practice "Single-Tasking": Focus on one thing at a time. When you are with your kids, be fully present. When you are at work, be at work. You will find you actually do things better.

Audit Your "Must-Dos": Not everything on your list is an emergency. Ask yourself: "What happens if I don't do this today?" Often, the answer is "nothing."

Delegate Without Guilt: Your husband can prepare a meal; the children can help with chores. You aren't "failing" by asking for help; you are teaching your family how to function as a team. I used to fear things would fall apart if I wasn't "hands-on," but I realized I am the one who will fall apart if I don't let go.

Schedule "Do Nothing" Time: If you’re napping in church, your body is screaming for rest. Build non-negotiable quiet time into your calendar. If you need a whole day to just breathe, take it.

Women, we are amazing, and perhaps that is why the world relies on us to keep spinning. But if we don’t put our mental health first, we will have nothing left to give our loved ones.

I challenge you today: take a 30-minute break. No phone, no chores, no kids, just you and yourself. Your mental health will never balance if you are constantly running on empty. It’s time we stop trying to be superheroes and start being human again.