The Dating Jungle: Everything Has Its Time

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They say love comes when you least expect it, but in my 30s, I realized the real secret: Love arrives when you finally stop panicking and start being present. It shows up when you start loving yourself and truly knowing your value.

Imagine running into the love of your life out of the blue. My husband and I came from opposite sides of the world, but we clicked instantly, like old friends from back in the day, even though we had never met. If I hadn’t been right there, mentally and spiritually "tuned in," I would have missed him completely.

As ladies, we often exhaust ourselves trekking to every corner of the earth looking for that God-given partner. We "slay" for every wedding, every office party, and every church service. You’ve seen them, those sisters where you can just tell they are on a mission. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being intentional, as long as you aren’t hunting out of hunger. When you're hungry, you’ll eat anything, even the crumbs.

We are busy figuring out a dating world full of "specialists" we should be running from, like:

The "Good Morning" Crew: These ones ask "How was your night?" every single day at 8:00 AM sharp. It’s as if your night is supposed to change shifts, yet they never actually ask you out on a date.

The "Movie and Chill" Seeker: He’s always offering free food and a pirated movie at his place. The "location" he sends has no pin; the Uber (which you’ll likely pay for yourself) has to stop behind someone’s fence in a place even Google Maps can’t find. He claims he just wants company, but we all know his real intentions are hidden behind that remote.

The Ghosting Experts: These are the masters of the "blue tick." They ignore you for weeks, only to suddenly resurrect and reply to your WhatsApp Status the moment you post a cute picture.

The Church Men with Skeletons: These ones speak in verses and call every female "Sister," but their "past" skeletons could form a whole congregation of their own. They break hearts faster than a service provider’s message informing you that your data bundles are finished. Mind you, they are also searching for a "God-given partner," but as long as they haven’t seen you in their dreams as a future wife, you stand no chance.

The One-Date Wonders: They take you out once and suddenly act like they’ve given your single life purpose. They expect you to be forever grateful for a single evening of their "precious" time.

Let’s be honest: chasing these types is a hazard to your mental health. It leads to dating burnout and leaves you feeling like you’re just moving in circles. Before you know it, you’re single, frustrated, and peeping at 40. You’ve kissed so many frogs hoping for a prince, but all you got were toads.You find yourself waving the career-woman flag, a flag heavy with hard-earned success, but you’re tired of using it as a shield to hide the fact that you’re simply exhausted by the disappointment. You’ve become the 'Senior Auntie' to everyone’s kids; a role you love, but one that shouldn't feel like a consolation prize society hands you because you haven't 'settled down' yet.

You’ve mastered the art of answering the 'When are you bringing a man home?' question from relatives with a sharp 'God's time is the best,' while secretly praying He speeds up the clock before you have to sit through another friend’s wedding. But here is the truth: Your success isn't a distraction, and your life as a 'Senior Auntie' isn't a waiting room. It is a full, valid life that stands entirely on its own.

We need to shut out the pressure and the noise of society. Not every guy is "The One," and let’s be real: some were never meant to turn into princes. It is perfectly okay to be single and intentional about what you want in a partner; not everyone was created for you. It’s okay to wait, and even better, to love the wait. It’s okay to believe in love while also embracing imperfection. It’s okay if you’re "happily ever after" or your journey to motherhood starts at 40 and beyond. There is no expiration date on a life well-lived.

The most important thing is to love yourself fiercely while you’re single, because the world and the men in it will treat you exactly how you treat yourself.

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