A Little Older, A Little Wiser, and a Lot More Content

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Today is my birthday. To me, a birthday is a big deal; it feels like a Speaker of  Parliament election, minus the political drama. I am not sure if this “birthday obsession” is just a symptom of being a planned kid (lol), but I always look forward to it. Why? Because I get to share this day with my daughter while practicing some serious self-love.

I beat the 1-in-365 odds to share a birthday with my own child. Honestly, only God could pull off a statistical miracle like that.

But with this celebration comes another digit added to my 30s. Let’s be real: getting older can feel a little scary. The moment you hit a certain age, society expects you to transition from worrying about party themes to wrinkles and chronic illnesses. Just today, I heard a radio advert reminding adults to get screened for diabetes and cancer. My immediate reaction? “Oh Lord, what is this? My life is officially over.”

Society loves to label age, and those labels open the door to anxiety and depression. In the old days, life followed a strict, predictable system: your 20s were for self-discovery and chaos, your 30s were for financial and personal establishment, your 40s were for peak career dominance, and your 50s and beyond were for farming on your inherited acres and enjoying the fruits of your labor. The new system has the discovery stage stretching into the early 30s, while financial and personal establishment is moving to the 40s. So ladies, you can still have that baby even in your 40s. Your bank account can resurrect in your 50s. Hope has never been lost; we just forget it’s there. I bet arsenal can testify to this.

While that rigid old system is slowly fading, the heavy expectations from the older generation still live on. Entering your 30s can feel like running to meet a series of aggressive deadlines. You are expected to get married, build an awesome career, collect degrees, pop out babies, and buy a house. Chasing these societal milestones like an Olympic sport is exactly why depression and anxiety are skyrocketing in our generation. We keep chasing accomplishments to beat a ticking clock, completely missing the point: real happiness comes from contentment without conditions.


If you are feeling the pressure of the “aging deadline,” here is some free therapy to protect your mental health:

Let go of imaginary judges. You are not in competition with your high school classmates, your family members, your neighbors, or your colleagues. Tick boxes off because they bring you joy, not because you think someone is watching your performance. You will never be on the same level as everyone else, but that doesn’t mean you won’t achieve success. Different people, different timelines.

Practice “Unconditional Contentment.” Psychologists find that tying happiness to conditions (“I will be happy when I get that house/promotion/raise”) creates a moving goalpost. You will always want more. Practice gratitude for the messy, imperfect “now.”

Protect your dopamine. High-status accomplishments give you a temporary dopamine high, this is the brain chemical for anticipation and desire. This is why one accomplishment is never enough; you keep chasing more. Simple, repeatable pleasures, like a good book or a walk, sustain your mental well-being over the long term. There is nothing wrong with being motivated, but it shouldn't control your happiness.

Age is just a number, but how you think of yourself guides you on where you want to go. Just because you are not where you wanted to be yet doesn’t mean you won't get there. You do not need to rush. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.





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