MIND SPACE

  "Why doesn’t she just leave?" It is the question many ask, but few understand. She sits scared and alone, lost in thoughts of a million ways to escape, only to be reminded by a blow to the face that she has nowhere to go. Who can she tell that her tears cry her to sleep? Who can she tell that her home has become a war zone? In the beginning, he is smart, charming, and feels like a God-given love. He mirrors the "Prince Charming" of fairy tales. The thought of him ever laying a hand on her seems like a myth; monsters do that, and he is no monster. Sadly, many women never see the abuse coming. Even worse, many assume they can "fix" or "save" him. But the hard truth is: you cannot save what is already broken. In Uganda, 56% of women have experienced physical violence and 40% have faced verbal or emotional abuse, and those are only the reported cases. Domestic violence remains a leading cause of death among women worldwide. It is shocking t...

  I am a self-confessed multitasker. From the morning school run through the Kampala traffic, to staying late at the office, followed by ensuring homework is done and dinner is on the table, I try to do it all. But truthfully, it is catching up with me. Lately, I’ve found myself falling asleep in places I shouldn’t, from my office desk (please don’t tell my boss!) to Sunday service. Once, the pastor even caught me taking a quick snooze! Now, I hide in the back row just so I can get a quick nap in peace. As a professional therapist, I know this isn’t healthy. So many women are balancing careers and family at a high cost to their well-being. We grew up watching our mothers do a million things at once; to us, they were the ultimate superheroes. But we rarely saw the toll it took behind the scenes. In our pursuit of success, we often overwork ourselves just to prove that we can do everything a man can do, while still ensuring everything at home is running perfectly. But here is t...

In Uganda, over 700,000 young people enter the labor market every year, yet only about 90,000 secure formal employment. That leaves 610,000 people wondering exactly where they fit. I recently met a woman in this exact position. Despite being highly educated, she had been unemployed for sometime. After a long streak of bad luck in the workforce, her desperation was heartbreaking. "I’m ready for any manual task," she told me, "just to have an income." She had moved from building to building with the sole hope of hearing a "yes," but all she ever received was: "We will contact you." It made me reflect: At what cost? I have been that woman. I remember the exhaustion of sending out over 100 CVs, only to be met with rejection. And let’s not even get into the endless, repetitive frustration of drafting cover letters that no one seems to read. Even worse was the sting of being invited for interviews, only to realize the position was already fille...

  My teenage daughter is a talented athlete, yet she recently approached me with a surprising request: she wanted to quit her team. When I asked why, she claimed she needed to focus more on her studies. Knowing her as I do, I decided to look a little deeper. I attend most of her games, and I began to notice a pattern: she takes her losses incredibly hard. She doesn’t just dislike losing; she feels defeated by it. This made me wonder: Do we actually teach our children how to be "good losers"? Our world is so obsessed with winning that we often forget a winner is frequently just a loser who refused to quit. We have stigmatized the word "lose" to the point where our children view failure as a dead end rather than a stepping stone. We see this everywhere. On the news, reporters ask losing political candidates how they feel, as if the loss itself is a source of shame. When national exam results are released, we celebrate the top scorers, but what of the students w...

They say love comes when you least expect it, but in my 30s, I realized the real secret: Love arrives when you finally stop panicking and start being present. It shows up when you start loving yourself and truly knowing your value. Imagine running into the love of your life out of the blue. My husband and I came from opposite sides of the world, but we clicked instantly, like old friends from back in the day, even though we had never met. If I hadn’t been right there, mentally and spiritually "tuned in," I would have missed him completely. As ladies, we often exhaust ourselves trekking to every corner of the earth looking for that God-given partner. We "slay" for every wedding, every office party, and every church service. You’ve seen them, those sisters where you can just tell they are on a mission. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being intentional, as long as you aren’t hunting out of hunger. When you're hungry, you’ll eat anything, even the...

  Recently, I was sitting with my five-year-old daughter, practicing her reading. We opened a new book, and as she hesitated over some of the longer words, I could see the tension building up in her small shoulders. Finally, out of frustration, she looked at me and said, "I can't do it. The words are too hard." In that moment, I didn’t push. I didn’t tell her to "just try harder." Instead, I encouraged her to take her time. I told her she didn’t need to be perfect and that we could go at her own pace. This simple moment was a powerful reminder: parents are a child’s first and most important encouragers. When we support our children in the small things, like sounding out a difficult word, we aren’t just helping them read. We are building a foundation of possibility for the "big things" they will face later in life. Encouragement is so much more than just a pat on the back; it is the heartbeat of a child’s confidence. When we consistently show up w...

  I used to be someone who hid my struggles. I would be going through something incredibly difficult, feeling like I was "dying in my own movie," trapped within my silent narrative. I never shared because I cared deeply about what people thought of me, and honestly, I didn't want my private business out on "the streets." I’ve since learned the importance of sharing my lows with a trusted individual, of not carrying my burdens entirely alone. The relief that comes from not going through life in complete isolation is profound. Many of us are currently navigating very difficult times and suffering in isolation for a variety of reasons. Perhaps we don’t want to "disturb" others with our problems, fear sounding like we are complaining, or feel intense pressure to maintain a "strong face" and avoid showing vulnerability. Society has made it easier to share successes and, in turn, has made it difficult to open up about struggles. What many fail ...