Depression in mothers

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The birth of a child can stir up different emotions from excitement, joy, anxiety and fear. It is a time that brings a big change in a woman’s life. I gave birth to my daughter during the 2020 Covid 19 lock down. It was a confusing time with so much uncertainty. I was excited, nervous and anxious about meeting my new born baby. After giving birth, I started hating how my body looked, it brought down my self-esteem. I also hated not being independent. I would look in the mirror and couldn’t recognize who I was anymore. I didn’t feel like my body was mine. My husband would always tell me how beautiful I was but I didn’t see it. I would get mood swings, anxiety and crying spells. Leave alone the sleepless nights dealing with a new born baby but I had myself to deal with too.






  
There are so many women who suffer from postpartum depression but you won’t hear about it because it’s something that is not talked about. Everyone expects a mother to be a super hero, ready to endure anything that is thrown her way. 
It’s okay not to be okay. Admitting that you're overwhelmed and need a break does not make you a bad mother. Admitting that you are having challenges, doesn’t mean you won’t do a good job. Your wellbeing is as important to you as it is to your child. Postpartum depression interferes with a mother's ability to care for her child and herself. I thank God that I was able to figure out what was going on in time and seek help. Untreated postpartum depression will end up lasting longer. It is important to talk to someone. A new mother should be able to share her feelings without fear of judgment. Do not feel embarrassed to admit how you’re feeling, you are not alone.  





 
If you gave birth and you’re still sad after 2 weeks, seek help. If you can’t concentrate or you feel like you’re getting worse, seek help. “Do you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby?” Seek help. Society has unrealistic expectations of mothers. It is okay not to be perfect, perfection is an illusion. You see stories on the news that a mother hurt herself and children. Who knows what state of mind she was in? Automatically society will say it was witchcraft or she was an evil woman. What if she was battling depression but no one knew? We need to take our mothers’ mental health seriously.



 
I started exercising, practising positive affirmation and praying more. I had a very good support system, my family and friends. I put myself first."Mothers, its okay to put yourself first." Just loving on me. I became bold with my feelings and not shying away from challenges. My daughter is making 2 years and my body is back to factory settings. I love being a mother and would not change what happened. I have learnt from it and I can help others going through similar challenges. 





 
Dear new mum, you are amazing, your baby is blessed to have you. It’s okay not be perfect. It’s okay that life isn’t perfect. Perfection is boring. Flaws are beautiful. It is okay to cry and admit when you have fallen short. Greatness isn’t built in a week, it takes time and you will get there. Pick yourself up, talk to someone and love yourself. 

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